In the past two months:

1) I have learned that my professor considers me depressed and recommends that I seek psychiatric help.

2) I have taken steps towards asking someone out and been rejected (TWICE) because goodness knows failure deserves a second try.

3) I have gotten in trouble with the Dean and am currently on his shitlist.

4) I have been pulled over by a cop and given a 150 dollar ticket.

6) Have become quite ill off of 1.5 beers, leading me to the conclusion that I may be allergic to alcohol.

7) I have purchased a $350 digital camera and been scammed by an online photo company, forcing me to cancel all my credit cards, etc.

I just don't seem to have the best luck in life.